The Mariner II was very successful as a commercial small passenger vessel on San Francisco Bay. She was Coast Guard Certified. I put a liquor license on the vessel. Decorated it luxuriously, complete with Oriental Carpets, Crystal Chandeliers, Calvin Klein padded fabric wall coverings, silver foil covered ceilings, original oil paintings and artifacts. Everything on the vessel projected opulent elegance. A gourmet menu of my original recipes show casing the San Francisco Cuisine was put in place. Served by Crew dressed in formal Yachting Attire and white gloves. I advertised in the Wall Street Journal, seeking the corporate entertaining market. I was a member of the San Francisco International Host Committee, so I had an inside tract on entertaining foreign dignitaries. I also was a member of the San Francisco Chamber of Commerce Visitor and Convention Bureau. The Mariner II became renowned for it’s gourmet food and elegant entertaining. We had some famous clients and an interesting array of passengers. However, some of the most fun cruises were my original ideas and promotions to keep the Vessel busy during slow times . One of the best was;
“Women’s Revolt Against Monday Night Football”
Young women were replacing Tupperware parties in homes with Pleasure Parties. Which sold sex toys and fancy lingerie. These were usually put on by young good looking women. I decided to put a different twist on it. Why not make it more classy and put an older none competitive, licensed Sex Therapist selling advice and instructions along with the products?
I found her in Berkeley. I’ll call her Ms. Freda. She was perfect. She was matronly with her graying hair, gravy stained Mumu and Birkenstocks, operating a Sex Toy shop on College Ave. complete with her Sex Therapist degree on the wall. She looked like everyone’s trustworthy Grandma. I asked her if she liked boats and making money. “Yes”, she replied, “As long as the money and I stay dry”. She was a wonder. Everyone loved her. Including the men. Which comes later. I made some flyers and only passed them around the Yacht Club.
“Women’s Revolt Against Monday Night Football”.
Mariner II presents:
Monday Nights 7:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m.
Ladies, come and be introduced to the latest sex toys and fun equipment. Meet and council with our licensed SEX THERAPIST;
Canapés, Open Bar, Bay Cruise and Strolling Violinist.
Limited to 40 passengers..make your reservation now.
will be available for private consultations the last hour of the cruise.
Well, that did it! It was a sell out. We were sold out every Monday Night through out football season.
The women went back to the Yacht Club with their little “Titty Pink Bags.” Filled with exotic sex toys and a sly knowing smirk on their faces.
It drove the men wild! They begged me to set up a “Men’s Cruise”. I made them wait until after Football season was over. I had them sign up and prepay for their cruise months in advance. The momentum grew. I had men calling me from all over the Bay Area wanting to go on the “Sex Cruise”. My son, David always the witty one, referred to the cruises as: “ F_ cker Ware Parties”.
I replaced the Violinist with a Banjo Player.
I put oysters and cold cuts on the menu.
I made Ms. Freda promise to not wash the gravy stains out of her Mumu.
The men came aboard swash buckling and full of bravado. Telling their dirty jokes and making lewd remarks.
Until, Ms. Freda appeared.
Within five minutes she had their full attention and RESPECT!
She was non-threatening and non-judgmental and best of all she was non-sexual. She treated them like a kindly, old Grandma teaching a child how to tie their shoes. The men adored her.
We would moor the Yacht after the cruise and often would be at dockside until 3:00 a.m. Ms. Freda held private consultations in the private middle stateroom. There would be a line of men waiting their turn. We had to close the bar and have a take a number system in order to keep the peace. And wait they did.
Ms. Freda had the sex merchandise in the stateroom with the door closed. The men would come out of the state room with their “Titty Pink Bags” and go directly to their cars. The cruises were sold out through April. Years later a man told me that his going on that “Pleasure Cruise” and Ms. Freda saved his marriage. Ms. Freda made so much money she booked a long trip for herself on a Cruise Ship.
My son, David would suggest when business got slow to put together another;
“TOYS for TWATS CRUISE”!